Tips for Teen Friendship Challenges
Teen friendships are currently the number one reason adolescents enter into therapy. With the majority of my caseload, feeling lonely and dissatisfied in their relationships, I’ve been energized to help teens feel more skilled in approaching relationships.
When little kids play together, there is so much hands on interaction shaping their play. Their social skills are learned through sharing, reciprocity and learning cues.
During the teen years, we are under the impression they can just “figure it out”. The challenge is, teens are needing this level of relational learning as well. It’s been my mission to try to find out more on how to teach relational skills to teens.
Over the past few weeks in group we’ve focused on the following concerns in friendships:
Feeling like your the “back up friend”
Zero room for error in making mistakes. Immediately being cut out of the group and no chance at conflict resolution
Fakeness “Hi Bestie”…come on really?!
Low commitment to follow through on plans
One friend sharing the whole time and not asking other people questions
These are 3 conversations to open up with your teen, to help them advocate for their needs to be met in relationships:
How can you try to approach talking this through with the other person? Can you advocate for what you need? Despite the other persons reaction, can you feel good that you spoke up? What is at risk if you do or don’t do this?
Even if people flake on your plans, can you consider going places by yourself? Yes, going somewhere alone with headphones and a book can be deeply satisfying!
When people monopolize a conversation, how do you try to enter in? What would you like to share, if you had the chance to talk more?
I would love to be of support in assisting your teen towards effective friendship skills! Learning these skills now, will assist them as they enter into the adult world. Please don’t hesitate to reach out, if I you have questions. I’d love to meet your family!
