Teen Stress and the College Application Process
The age old question of “what do you want to be when you grow up”, is a loaded question for a 17 year old to sit with. I enjoy providing hope to teens, by deconstructing what the college application process really means, and what it doesn’t.
Here are some equally helpful questions to ask teens during this time in their lives:
What do you know to be true about yourself? Does your teen demonstrate the ability to follow through on tasks, can they collaborate with their teachers and advocate for themselves, when they are in a group project can they generate ideas and see the ideas of others, can they block out daily distractions and make valuable choices towards their wellbeing?
What do you want to know to be true about yourself in 5 years? Does your teen want to know that they took risks, that they worked hard to adjust to new people and circumstances, that they did whatever it took to be sure they understood their assignment, that they sought out important people to help support them, that they felt a sense of adventure and balance.
What do you NOT know to be true about yourself? By helping teens see what they don’t excel at and enjoy, we are helping them rule out industries they most likely won’t land in. The process of elimination can lead them to feel a bit clearer about their general skill set.
But everyone at school won’t stop talking about college. What do I do?
In the groups that I run, I’ve seen the relief when teens can express fear and uncertainty. Teens are craving conversations among other teens where they can say- what if I’m not certain? This college essay is asking me to describe an epiphany that I haven’t even had yet.
I can’t tell you the relief this brings when we access this level of humility, vulnerability and realness in group. Its like everyone can start to breath again.
These are some things I want every teen to know about themselves through the college application process:
If you feel afraid and things don’t work out as planned you are still 1000% of value and significance. If you can learn to not loose sight of yourself when things don’t go as planned, you will learn, what some people take a lifetime to learn. Despite not doing the best today or any day, you are enough. In fact, you are more than enough. Treating yourself with this level of flexibility, openness and patience, will also allow you treat others with this same grace.
People will continue to look and act as if they are certain because it allows them to feel capable. Have compassion for the fact that they need to do that to survive. We all do it. Its ok.
No matter how things go and no matter what happens, your story isn’t over. If you already have the qualities of grit and persistence, you will find a way towards your dreams.
If any of this lights you up, we should talk. I’d love to spend some time reframing this process with you.
