What are the red flags in teenage behavior?
Oftentimes when parents reach out for teen therapy in Orange County, one of the first questions they ask is, is my teens behavior normal? It is very normal as parent to want answers as to what constitutes red flags in teen behavior. It’s also really important to learn what is normal teenager behavior. These questions will really help you in trying to find out what type of teen therapy support in Orange county you need. As an Orange County teen therapist, I can help you in guiding you to some clear decision making and steps.
As a parent I encourage YOU to decide the level to which behavior feels normal, and what teen behavior feels like a potential red flag. If you are feeling, like the dysfunction in your home is beyond what you can handle, it is time to seek teen therapy in Orange County.
Let’s start with discussing teen moods. Adolescence is filled with surges of hormones, ongoing shifts in identity formation and frequent social challenges. As a result of all of these massive changes, teens are often moody, distant and defiant.
Many adults wonder, what is normal mood swings, and what means something more serious is going on?
Here are a few common “normal teen behaviors”:
1. It is normal for teens to be somewhat uncommunicative, and distant at times
2. It is normal for teenagers to need space, to sort through their thoughts and feelings
3. It is normal for teens to not know how to communicate their feelings appropriately
4. It is normal for a teen to not be confident all the time
5. It is normal for your teen to prefer a sleep schedule slightly different than yours
6. It is normal for teens to struggle with starting conversations
But while there’s no such thing as normal, some adolescent behaviors are more typical, whereas others are cause for concern.
Here are a list of challenges that indicate outside of the “normal” range of teen behavior, and fall into potential red flags in teen behavior, and could constitute needing teen therapy in Orange County:
-eating disorders
-substance abuse
-ongoing isolation with little variety or engagement
-self-harm
-changes in hobbies or friend group
-constant arguing, without new ways you both agree, to approach conflict
-suicidal thoughts
-extreme anxiety
-difficulty managing anger
-strong refusal to follow rules
-dramatic decline in grades
-withdrawal from things they used to enjoy
Here are some things you can do when a teen isn’t acting like themselves, and exhibiting normal, but challenging teen behaviors.
1. Listen closely and reflect back what you hear your teen is saying to ensure you understand and really hear them
2. Give them options in ways to deal with situations, but allow them to develop their unique identity
3. Practice consistent “re-dos” to help shape their behavior. A “red-do” is an opportunity to allow your teen do a “take 2” on their communication. It helps them practice and refine much more appropriate ways of saying what they are trying to say.
4. Set boundaries that prioritize high self-worth towards YOURSELF- As a parent, practice saying, “ie I am happy to speak with you and want to hear what you have to say, but I cannot do so when you are yelling at me. That doesn’t feel good to me. I think we both need some space to think things over, and come back to it when we are less triggered. The only way teens learn, how they can and cannot treat people in this world, is by the way you shape their behavior.
5. Help your teen follow through on household rules and responsibilities. Be sure you and your spouse agree on these so you aren’t sending mixed messages. You might feel like you are repeating yourself over and over again, in this area.
6. Give them space. Part of a teen needing to figure themselves out and individuate, will mean they will need more space from the family. They need time to think, process their day and connect with people their age. The key here, is making sure there are still very clear parameters to the amount of time they are still engaging in outside activities.
7. Seek professional help. Most teens that are struggling, know that they are struggling and have a deep desire to get out of pain. Don’t wait until it gets worse to seek support. If your teen is in need of support and community group therapy is an excellent option. You can read more about the groups I offer here: https://www.brittanyfella.com/teen-group-therapy-orangecounty Family therapy can also be an excellent way to address everyones need to grow, during this developmental time. You can read more about how family therapy works here: https://www.brittanyfella.com/family-therapy. I would be happy to set up a consultation to discuss tracks with your family.
